老婆猷宾

以前，我看上一个人是以第一眼印象。

以前，我说过，我的男朋友要懂音乐。要喜欢交响乐，和我聊古典音乐。可以握着我的手弹钢琴（这个比较难），和我一样喜欢harry potter.可以随时和我聊天，和我一起废废。可以让我咬。相信我的梦想。我们能像朋友哥儿们一样。

现在，没有，一个条件都没有。

但还是喜欢他。

还要降低自己哦。

为什么？两个人在一起不该是这样。

我爱他，所以让他做他自己。

但，

我也爱我自己，慢慢的我发现要爱惜自己，一定要；所以，我选择做回自己。

我已经用完了所有步伐，

够了，真的够了。

他如果要去找新的女友，去吧。

如果我无法给他他想要的，那就让其他女生给他幸福。

如果他知道，从开始到现在，

我深深爱着他，但我并不快乐，他会不会好好想一想？

他不会懂的，如果，他从来最爱的人是他自己。

我不要再附和了。

我本来就任性，还有一点骄傲。（哈哈，这个是你说的。其实这个叫自信～）

我本来个性好强。

但这一切本来再遇上他之后都没有了。

既然他这样爱理不理，

我也很累了。

我真的很喜欢原本的自己。

尽管并不完美。

你说呢？

那我就继续骄傲任性吧！（是自信！！）

hey

what happened to me?

Yesterday he called, 2.34am something. He's just taking bath, cold water.

He asked me to find him when he back home. He thought I am already at Kampar.

He said, if I don't go to meet him, we are really done.

He is tired, long journey to back home so he can't come Kampar.

I am free, so I should be the one who moves.

I don't know how to get there. But I think I can still make it.

But doctor asked me do not go around on my own, as I could faint anytime anywhere.

I know my condition. I am weak now.

But if I don't make it, everything is over, I don't wanna let it go.

So I try.

I know it should.

And I'll force him to pick me up at KL. Somehow I don't think he will.

He think I am big enough to do thing on my own.

Hope to see him soon.

P/S: I had a stupid hair cut...... And if you don't come and pick me at KL, I WILL DRIVE YOUR CAR.

I am quite alright, under the beautiful sunlight.

I can keep mind clear with the help of sun god.

But when sun gone and moon takes its place,

it's hard for me to keep calm.

My heart is still pain,

I feel like crying but something hold it back.

Yea I'm ok,

I'm fine,

under the beautiful sunlight.

And I hate night fall.

P/S: Why do I let my life be so miserable? It shouldn't be, I know, but it's so hard to control.

我们都有很多无奈，不是吗？

每一段过程所经历的，深刻，痛。

你不能得到所有你想要的。

总有些比较重要，总有些会被牺牲。

我选择了梦想，那是唯一让我有安全感的地方。

但在我心里最深处，我很想选择你。

但你的态度。。。

if the girl loves you more than i do,ok,let it be.

太多人告诉我什么是对什么是错，

太多人告诉我该怎么做，

但慢着，

先让我看一看，

让我用自己的眼睛看，用自己的心感受，

让我自己去分辨是非对错。

让我周围的世界安静下来，

我想听听我的心怎么说。

你可以讨厌我，

你可以觉得我在利用你，

你可以觉得我很虚伪，

你可以觉得我很烦。

你不喜欢我，

你对我的了解有多少呢？

你自己又是个很完美的人吗？

We know the rules...

Do you know how did I pass my holiday since my brother came back?

Movie, yea, a lot.

Shopping, yea, a lot.

Cafe-ing, yea, a lot.

Driving around just to make the time move faster.

Emm, we can't say it was fruitful.

And I have it enough, as if I have used up my entire free time in my life~

So, start uni life, what should I and will I do?

I think the uni library will be my favourite place when no class.

Chit-chatting with friends, which I mean, trustworthy and mature friends.

And I hope I'm not the only one who has no bf among them, guess I'll be so in my uni life.

I think I'm not so good in managing troubles and those who just want to make full use of you, but I will try and play smartly.

I will pray more~

Oh yea, I'm not going to wear contact lens when going class, it is just too troublesome, and my thick-purple-frames glasses will give me a maturer look,and it will help to cover my dark circle and eye bag when I am too rush to apply BB cream. Good, eh?

Nothing much to say

but one great thing I've done recently is deactivated my Facebook account.

It feels good.

Well, I just need to put all my effort and focus on the RIGHT thing.

It's about, I'm 2o now, I should have something clear and after it.

It doesn't mean I don't care my friends' life, but honestly I don't care what really happened around me, is it big enough to have my attention?

My closed friends know how to reach me instead of Fbing.

Yep, and don't forget me for any gathering~^^

this is what i wanna say

Ich hoffe, Sie werden wieder kommen, aber ich Angst, mich wieder zu verlieren

If you SEE something,

SAY something.

Since when I've become such a coward??

老人家身体总是不舒服。

还未满二十岁就这边酸那边痛，逛街都会辛苦。

哈哈～太糟糕了～我要怎样去背包旅行哦？？

其实在spm时身体是不好但没这么糟，form6开始就体质就变得很sensitive,我可以怪stpm吗？？

哈哈～

坐着都会呼吸困难，这样的生活不好受吧！

不好受～

Do you remember the first day when I see you

your smile takes my breath away

Do you remember the first sight I look straight into your eyes

your gentle takes my heart away

Do you remember the first quarrel we have

your fierceness breaks my heart and takes my tears away

Do you remember the first time you ask me to go

your heartlessness takes my soul away

It was my 19th birthday,

I can't forget, what a big surprise you gave,

I was crying while I had to pretend laughing and said thanks my beloved friends.

Time flies,

my 20th birthday is coming soon~

One year of heartbroken has nearly past.

You haunted me for so long,

can you just say you want me to go?

You never say so because you afraid you regret like last time you did,

but dear you can't be so irresponsible.

You can't hang me there and find me only when you need me.

Boy,you know I'll never hate you.

Your blessing is the best gift before you go,

but you never bless me,never...

I'll bless myself anyway~

Grow up and be more mature,

before we are fated to meet again~

nothing much to say~

life is pretty good and I'm getting lazier and lazier~

haha~well~it can't be~

I'm just...trying to memorize all the words in dictionary so that I can understand what are BBC people talking about~

hahaha~don't laugh~I mean business~

一段对过去的告解

我常在想，我是真的那么喜欢现在的对方，还是对过去的自己赎罪？

给我第二个喜欢的男生。
我想对他说声谢谢。谢谢他当初对我的付出，对我的真诚，对我的重视，对我的包容。
那时的我是多么的任性和好胜，我的强势有没有让他很不好受。谢谢他总是一一接受。
谢谢他的配合，谢谢他的不忽略。谢谢他对我的好。谢谢他让我认识《小王子》。很多很多。

我想对他说声对不起。对不起，我的任性，倔强，坏脾气，不温柔体贴，不替他设想。
对不起我的自私和骄傲。对不起我为了最求更好的表现而忽略了他。

很多年以后，才发现很多东西都不是当初想的那样。

想对他说，不要觉得自己很play或什么。请记得曾经的你是那么的好。

我们都会改变，没什么好不好对不对。

我知道，过去的他会给我最深的祝福。

而现在的我，是不是真的这么喜欢现在的他？还要不要等他？我们的方向不一样，是不是该放手了？或许，everything comes naturally...

告解完毕。
amen.

They said, when you can't get what you want, you will try harder and harder to get it, but the harder you try, the worse is the situation, and at the moment, you can't accept you lose the game, then you push harder to get it. Oh man, maybe you forget that something can't be forced. Your life doesn't depend on it.

I wanna sigh~

It's been weeks and my eye problem hasn't solved~ Ok, really have to seek help before I lost my sight..... It's what they trying to scare me~