休业中。。。

不说了

什么都不说了

我累了

真的累了

再也没有什么是值得分享的

就让我静静的躲在我的小角落

很安全

没有人看见

也没有人会攻击我

不要碰我

一碰就伤

我的害怕与无助

我不知道

有没有人会完全的体会

受的伤从来没好过

新的伤一层又一层的覆盖着

我知道人生很美丽

所以我才努力的走下去

我知道

我需要帮助

我需要辅导

也许还需要治疗

但我倔强着不要别人帮我

我在努力着

你们

看到吗

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
creeps in this petty pace from day to day
to the last syllable of recorded time,
and all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death.

Out, Out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
that struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
and then is heard no more; it is a tale
told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
signifying nothing."

我什么都不想说了

暂别中。。。

Struggling...

In living room, dad and I,

‘How’s your exam?’

‘Dreadful.’

‘Then?’

‘I might not able to enter local u.’

‘Then how?’

‘Ok, I can sit for another exam. Don’t worry about me.’

Half way of studying, texting kor kor,

‘I think you’re right, everything you have told me.’

‘I’ve told you so many things, which one?’

‘Everything. Especially the one you encourage me to head for a direction that’s more suitable for me.’

In a boutique, mum and I,

‘Mum, how do I look?’

‘How do you think? You like it?’ She smiled and asked me back.

‘Yea, but don’t you think this bf-shirt is a little too big for me?’

‘It’s free-size, isn’t it?’

‘Ok, I want this.’

On the way home,

‘Mum, how do you think of being a writer?’

‘Ok ah.’

In dining room, little brother and I,

‘Sis, I don’t think you will stay in a same field for a long time. You are just not that type of girl, you are so changeable.’

‘Yea, how do you know it?’

‘See I know you well.’

Struggling.

I dont deserve to live in this world, do I?

我的心很痛，当我看见你和她的合照。
不管是哪一个她。

我的心很痛。
什么时候，我的心不会再对你有感觉？
我真的很想block掉你，
但我做不到。

我的心很痛，很痛。。。

.

如果有什么事让你不开心，那就尝试不去想它吧！

如果有什么人让你不开心，那就别去理他吧！

如果你做了什么对不起别人的事，道歉，还有反省自己。

如果你做了什么对不起自己的事，道歉，还有原谅自己。

在你想要付出前，先把自己的心填满。

在你想要让别人快乐时，先让自己快乐起来。

爱自己，才有能力爱别人。不管是什么爱。

想要踏踏实实的生活。

想要认认真真的做事。

想要，活在当下。

经历了那么多次跌倒与失败，

那么多次原谅与接纳，

那么多次扶持与鼓励，

总会明白些什么。

如果要我为自己的中六生涯做总结，

我想说，

这一年半，不会浪费。

尤其是能遇见好老师，真的是很幸运。

感谢Mr.Yung, 他鼓励我们寻找属于自己的那份天斌，成绩，不代表什么。老师，如果不是你，不会有今天的我。

感谢Pn.Ngo, 她总是真心的关心学生。老师，我曾经不喜欢你，觉得你管太多，但我想说，谢谢。你们，在我的中六生涯，给了我很多的启发。在你们眼里，我们，比成绩还要重要。

每一段路，都会遇见不同的人，有不同的际遇。

人的一生，这么长，那么短，

总该有些事情是满分的。

Guilty

I am drowned by guilty.

I feel sorry for my dad, mum, kor kor, and teachers.

Even if nobody will blame me, I’ll blame myself.

I know there is no point to do so.

How am I going to face them, especially my parents?

Look, what I’ve done.

UPSR, PMR, SPM, and now STPM.

I make people disappointed and that’s the best thing I’ve ever done.

I’m such a fucker.

I hate the way I am now.

P/S: Daddy mummy and kor kor please don’t treat me so well, I don’t deserve it.

Thanks..

Yesterday night emo, can’t concentrate on study, no point to continue, close the book and ready to sleep. Open my friend list and simply tembak some friends who didn’t contact for long and asked something. Christopher, Diing Shyang, Kuhan, Eric, Vincent and Wei Chien. Didn’t meet for monthsss and some even years, kinda miss everyone. After chatting with them felt better and found that can’t fall sleep at the moment. C, K, E is going overseas soon, and V already in Australia. All gone.

But out of my expected, received CC’s message, asked me if I’m ok which I didn’t tell him anything at all. Touching. Blessed for having such friend.

你希望和对方有共同点，所以慢慢的你变成对方的影子。

你努力，但却发现，你们真的很不一样。

既然勉强不来，那就各自精彩吧！

你们最大的共同点，就是没有共同点。